Chasing Life
by isawyouasaperson
Summary: While Elena transitions, Bonnie decides to start living her life.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story has absolutely nothing to do with the Tv show Chasing Life. I just like the title. This is a Bonnie Bennett one shot, set in S4E1. I am considering making it into a full fledged story, in which case it will be Bonnie-centric.**

 **For fans of my other story, Soulmates, that should be updated tomorrow. Regardless of whether I continue this story or not, that one will likely remain my main priority.**

 **Finally, the characters in this story belong to TVD and the associated people. Thanks for reading.**

Elena was in transition. Bonnie stared unseeingly at her grimoire. When Stefan had called telling her about Elena and asking her to look for a spell to reverse the process, she had agreed. Now, however, she found that she couldn't really concentrate.

Matt sat at her side, furiously flipping through another grimoire. He had offered to help her search, trying to relieve his guilt.

"If I said something really bad, would you hate me?" Bonnie asked him suddenly, keeping her eyes on the pages in her lap.

"I could never hate you, Bon." He answered absentmindedly, continuing to flip through his book.

She didn't say anything, and after a few seconds he looked up.

"Bon?" He asked, setting down the book to pull her into his arms. "Are you alright?"

It was then that Bonnie realized she was crying. With that realization, she broke down and started sobbing.

Matt continued to hold her, rocking her gently until her sobs quieted.

With her face still buried in his shirt, she finally spoke.

"I'm glad Elena's a vampire." She whispered, so quietly that if he hadn't momentarily tensed, she would've assumed he hadn't heard her. When he relaxed again, still gripping her tightly, she took it as a cue to continue.

"If she's a vampire, that means I don't have to protect her. I won't have to lose another family member because Stefan and Damon have an obsession with keeping her safe. I don't have to spend every day wondering if today is the day when it finally happens. When I finally face death just so that she can be happy." She kept her face pressed to his chest, not wanting to see his judgement or hatred for her selfishness.

"Bonnie…" He murmured.

She tensed, waiting for him to tell her how selfish she was, how she should be willing to do anything for her best friend. How Elena was worth losing everything.

"It's okay to want to live. It's alright that you don't want to die for her anymore. That doesn't make you selfish. You don't owe her your life just because you used to be close." He told her slowly, as if he was just now realizing the truth behind his own words.

Bonnie pulled back slightly, just enough to look him in the eye. "You're not going to tell me that I'm selfish or a terrible friend or a coward?" She asked.

Matt grasped her shoulders almost painfully, as if he could convey his sincerity through touch alone. "Bonnie Bennett, you are the last person on earth anyone could ever accuse of being any of those things. You don't owe it to her to die so that she can be happy, or even so that she can live. You deserve to live every bit as much as she does." He declared passionately.

Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. She started sobbing, even harder than before, both from an overwhelming sense of relief and a deep sadness. After a few more minutes, she rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered into his ear.

"You deserve to live to. You don't have to feel guilty about her death. It wasn't your fault."

Matt started shaking his head before objecting. "If Stefan…"

"If Stefan had saved her, you would be dead right now. At least this way, you both get the chance to live. Besides, her being a vampire will really cut down on the number of deaths in this town." It was Bonnie's turn to hold him just a little too tightly as she strained to make him understand.

"But she never wanted this." Matt whispered.

"None of us wanted any of this. She'll learn to live with it, just like the rest of us did." Bonnie whispered, tears returning.

"Alright." Matt nodded.

"Alright?" She asked, pulling out of his embrace to look him in the eye.

"I won't feel guilty anymore. And neither will you." He ordered, blue eyes flashing with determination.

Bonnie nodded. She knew it would take time for both of them. They were in the habit of putting Elena's needs above their own and it would take time and space to break free from that.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to her. "We should leave town." She suggested hopefully.

"Like a vacation?" Matt asked, brow wrinkling with confusion.

"No, like move somewhere else. Some place where we don't have to worry about the next big bad trying to kill us. Me and you, Matt. We can escape this place. We can start over. We can live." She declared, desperate to leave Mystic Falls and all it symbolized as far behind her as possible.

"Where would we go?" Matt asked.

"I don't know. But I do know that if we stay here, we're both just going to end up being sacrificed for Elena." Bonnie pointed out.

Matt stared at her for a few minutes. "Let's do it."

"Really?" Bonnie asked, hardly believing that he would agree to her crazy plan.

"Really." Matt nodded, a slight smile appearing on his lips.

Bonnie grinned and threw her arms around his neck, this time in joy. She didn't even try to control the intense sense of relief spreading throughout her. She really wasn't sure if she would have been able to go on her own, but if Matt came, she knew she would make it.

"Okay. I have to cancel my heating and water, call my mom, and pack. I'll be back in an hour. That enough time for you?" Matt asked, jumping up and grabbing his keys.

Bonnie nodded, staring up at him.

"Good. One hour, Bennett." He grinned before swooping down to kiss her cheek and running out the door.

"One hour." Bonnie whispered, grinning ear to ear. She darted over to her closet, grabbing a large suitcase and began to fill it with clothes. Since she didn't know where they would end up or how long it would be before she could shop, she made sure to grab a little bit of everything.

Once she was done packing her clothes, she glanced around at the grimoires spread across her floor. Over the past couple of years, those books had become her entire life. She didn't want to bring any of them with her because all they would do is serve as reminders of how she had become her magic. However, her eyes landed on one small book in the corner. Picking it up, she smiled softly at the cover. It was her Gram's personal grimoire, and the only one she would take with her. She slipped it into her carefully into her purse.

After she lugged her suitcase downstairs to wait for Matt, she quickly wrote her father a goodbye letter. Granted, he didn't know the majority of what went down in this town, so her explanations might not have made sense, but she decided she should try. She also assured him that she would call him soon.

She then wrote two short letters to Elena and Caroline, telling them that she had to leave. She didn't bother explaining why, knowing neither of them would understand. She also asked that they not try to contact her because she needed her space.

As she was sealing the three letters, Matt walked back through her front door.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Yep. You?"

He nodded somberly before picking up her bag. "Jesus, Bennett, what did you pack? Your fireplace?" He grunted at the weight.

Bonnie laughed. "No. I just figured that if we don't know where we're going, it might be nice if I have some of everything." She explained, following him onto the porch where he waited as she turned to lock the door.

"Did you pack any of your fancy dresses in case we end up at the queen's tea?" Matt teased.

"No. I did pack some slacks though, for job interviews." Bonnie explained.

"I forgot about that. What are we going to do about money? I've been struggling just to stay afloat. I don't have any extra cash." Matt said, pacing across her front porch and running his fingers through his hair.

"Relax. My Grams left me everything she owned when she died. I have enough to keep us afloat for a while, although we should start looking for jobs pretty much right away so we don't have to worry." Bonnie told him.

Matt nodded. She could tell that he didn't like the thought of living off of her money, but they really didn't have much choice.

"Sounds like a plan." He said as he picked up her suit case and stored it in the back seat of his truck, away from the elements. Bonnie spotted his suitcase already there.

"Why are we taking your truck? My car gets better gas mileage." Bonnie protested.

"True, but as you pointed out, we don't really know where we're going and I'd rather not try to drive your hybrid through a blizzard. Besides, my car is reliable and I know how to repair it if anything goes wrong, so we won't have to worry about finding a mechanic." Matt pointed out.

"Fair point." Bonnie agreed reluctantly. She loved her little blue car, but she had to admit that Matt's truck made more sense.

"Good. Now is there anyone you want to say goodbye to before we leave?" Matt asked, gently resting his hand on her shoulder.

"No. I wrote my dad, Caroline, and Elena letters. You?" Bonnie answered, melancholy returning.

"I left voice mails with Tyler and my mom." Matt answered, head bowing.

"I guess we're ready." Bonnie whispered. Now that the moment was here, all of her loyalty to her friends and her good memories came crashing down on her. She felt her eyes water, not quite as ready to say goodbye as she had originally thought.

"We have one last thing to do." Matt answered, gently turning her around and pushing her back towards her house. He nodded towards the door and she hesitantly unlocked it, trying to hide her tears.

"Give me your phone." He ordered, stretching out an open hand before her.

"What?" She asked, her head shooting up.

"We're leaving for good. We're trying to escape. We'll never do that if they keep calling us. Caroline and Elena will try to guilt you into coming back and Stefan will beg you to protect Elena. Our phones stay here." He explained.

Bonnie hesitantly reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She had turned it off hours ago to try to prevent any distractions from her research for Elena. Ironically, if she had left it on she might still be searching.

Matt placed both of their phones on the kitchen table and then grabbed her hand. Together, they walked out of her house and climbed into his truck.

Hand in hand, they drove out of Mystic Falls and into the unknown.


	2. Chapter 2

Bonnie and Matt drove through the night and into late afternoon the next day, taking turns sleeping in the passenger seat. They had stopped twice for food, both times at greasy diners.

Bonnie smiled, watching the beginnings of sunset. It was nice being on the road. No responsibilities, no constantly checking her phone in case whatever psycho of the month decided to try to kill someone. The crushing pressure to protect everyone was gone. Driving down the highway, Bonnie felt calm infiltrate her body. She had even managed to sleep peaceful, which hadn't happened since the Salvatores came to town.

Glancing at Matt sleeping in the passenger seat, Bonnie decided it was time to find a place to spend the night. At the next motel, she pulled off the highway.

Once they were settled in their room, Matt flipped on the television and Bonnie hopped in the shower, desperate to wash all the travel grime off. As the water flowed over her, a lump formed in her throat. It suddenly hit her that she had really left. Everything she ever knew, everyone she ever loved except for Matt, it was all behind her now. If she thought about it too long, she'd break down and never leave the shower, so she forced it from her mind and rushed to rinse out her hair.

When she exited the bathroom, she found Matt watching some silly rom-com.

"What's with the movie?" Bonnie asked with a slight chuckle, already preparing to tease him for the choice.

"Everything else was supernatural crap. I used to love that stuff. Now all it does is remind me of everything I've lost." Matt explained calmly, but his eyes remained glued to the screen. She noticed his tense jaw as he swallowed and his clenched fist and she knew he was remembering.

"What did you say to them?" She asked after a moment, sitting down on the bed beside him.

"My mom I… I just gave an update on what the bills were like. I didn't tell her anything. Tyler… I told Tyler that I was leaving. Starting over somewhere new. Somewhere where I wouldn't be collateral damage in whatever supernatural war was going on." Matt murmured. "You?" He asked, finally turning off the movie and looking at her.

"I told my dad that I needed time away from all the reminders of everything that's happened. That I felt like I was drowning and I couldn't stay there anymore." Bonnie whispered, blinking back her tears.

"What about Caroline and Elena?" Matt asked after a few seconds.

"I told Caroline that I'm not abandoning her, that this is just something I have to do. And I told Elena that I hoped she found a way to survive. I didn't really write a whole lot to them."

Matt nodded in understanding, blue eyes also tearing up.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Ask me in the morning." She told him quietly.

He nodded again and got up, preparing to go to sleep in the other bed.

"Stay." She whispered desperately, loneliness creeping up on her.

He glanced at her and nodded, turning off the light before sliding into bed next to her. She reached over and grabbed his hand under the blankets, needing some sort of human contact. In response, he pulled her into his arms so that her head rested on his chest and she was pressed against his side. She relaxed into his embrace and slipped into unconsciousness.

They awoke fairly early the next morning despite not setting an alarm. Bonnie showered first before slipping on an old pair of comfortable jean shorts and a tank top with a hoodie over it. When Matt came out a few minutes later, he loaded up the truck while she grabbed donuts and coffee from the front desk and checked out.

"Wow. Donuts and coffee? They really go all out here. Are you sure we can afford this place?" Matt teased Bonnie when she handed him his breakfast.

Bonnie laughed. "I know. The donuts even have sprinkles."

Matt grinned. "We'll have to stop in about an hour to get some real breakfast. Those sprinkles won't last forever."

Bonnie agreed and sure enough, about 50 miles down the road they pulled into a diner.

"Okay seriously, your diner infatuation is getting old. We could've gone to IHOP." Bonnie grumbled.

Matt laughed. "But then you don't get the small town feel and personal service."

Bonnie rolled her eyes but followed him inside. They spotted a waitress running around serving people's food and taking orders. She spotted them and yelled for them to seat themselves.

"Is this the personalized service you wanted?" Bonnie teased Matt who shrugged and led the way over to a booth.

About five minutes later, the frazzled waitress came over to their table.

"So sorry about the wait. Our other waitress called in sick and no one else can work until 4. Can I get you something to drink?" She explained with a smile.

"Do you need any help? I used to work at a diner and I wouldn't mind making a little cash." Matt offered. "That is, if you wouldn't mind." He quickly turned to Bonnie, eyes hopeful. Bonnie nodded.

"Oh my god, that would be a huge help. Let me check with my manager." The waitress ran off and returned a few seconds later with a woman following her.

"You got experience waiting tables?" She asked Matt in a no-nonsense tone.

"Yep. That's been my job for the past few years." Matt answered.

"I can give you five bucks an hour plus whatever you make off of tips."

"I'll take it."

"Great. Cynthia here'll show you where the aprons are. You'll have a break in about an hour to eat."

Matt nodded and followed the waitress to the back. Bonnie glanced up to find the manager still standing there.

"If you want to wash dishes, I'll throw in an extra 5 bucks an hour plus meals for the day." The woman offered.

Bonnie didn't have anything else to do so she quickly agreed.

"Alright. Come on back. I'm Ruby by the way." The manager briskly walked to the back. Bonnie was almost running to keep up with her.

After briefly showing Bonnie the dishwasher, how to load it and unload it, and where to put the clean dishes, Ruby, who was also the chef and owner of the diner, rushed back into the kitchen leaving Bonnie in the sectioned off dishes area. For the next hour and a half, Bonnie spent her time running around carrying plates, cups, and silverware to and fro, loading the washer, switching crates around, and struggling to keep up with the dishes that were rapidly piling up.

Finally, things calmed down and she had all the dishes cleaned, so Ruby asked her what she wanted for breakfast. Despite her earlier cravings for pancakes, Bonnie decided to go the protein route to keep her energy up. Ruby gave her the best bacon, egg and cheese omelet Bonnie had ever tasted, and Bonnie devoured it before heading back to work.

Somehow, Ruby could tell that Bonnie didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts, so whenever Bonnie had a break, she ducked into the kitchen and Ruby would start talking about how she was cooking different meals. She even let Bonnie help make some of the burgers before the lunch rush got going.

"We grind our own beef every morning from some sides of beef. Never mix the beef from different cows, increases risk of contamination." Ruby explained, showing Bonnie the grinder.

"Doesn't that cost more and take a lot of time?" Bonnie asked.

"Of course, but the food tastes so much better and fewer people get sick, so it almost pays for itself. Besides, I would never compromise my passion just for a few bucks. I make food, the best food. Nothing less." Ruby declared with a grin.

Bonnie couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Ruby asked with a mock glare.

"Nothing, I just never met a diner owner who referred to food as their passion. It's not what you typically think of." Bonnie explained.

"No, it's not. Food is a very elitist industry. Can't stand it." Ruby answered before grabbing a handful of meat and moving towards the grill. "Grab a handful, I'll show you how to shape a burger patty."

Bonnie tried to copy Ruby's movements exactly, but her hands couldn't quite mimic the motions. The meat wouldn't squish quite right, and it almost slipped out of her hands when she had a particularly squeamish moment.

Grinning at Bonnie's slight shriek, Ruby reached over and grabbed the malformed patty, putting it on the grill.

"I wasn't done." Bonnie objected.

"Honey, you were never gonna be done. First pattys never turn out perfect. The trick is learning when it's good enough, when it will taste good. That's all that matters." Ruby explained.

Bonnie nodded, watching as Ruby fixed up the toppings.

"Why are you so passionate about food?" She asked.

"It's universal. It's culture, it brings people together, it makes people happy. Makes me happy. Besides, you give people what they want, they give you what you want." Ruby told Bonnie, smiling before sending her back into the washroom.

Bonnie and Matt finished off their shift a few hours later, both exhausted but well-fed thanks to Ruby.

"You know, I'm almost tempted to offer you two a job, despite the fact that I don't need any more help." Ruby told them as she handed over their wages.

"Yeah, we might take it too except that we're still a little close to home." Bonnie said.

"You two aren't in trouble, are you?" Ruby asked suspiciously.

"No, we're actually getting out of trouble." Matt grins.

Bonnie rolled her eyes and Ruby raised her eyebrows but didn't comment.

"Stay safe out there kids." She ordered.

"We will. Thanks Ruby." Bonnie said.

"You two are good kids. I'm glad I could help." Ruby answered before shooing them out.

"So, drive another couple hours? We still have some daylight." Matt suggests, slinging an arm around Bonnie's shoulder as they walk out of the diner.

"Sounds good." Bonnie grinned, turning her face into the sun with a smile. Her fingers were pruny, her arms were sore, and she had a headache from all the steam, but she was happy. For the first time in a very long time, she was happy.

Two weeks later, they were still on the road and Bonnie was beginning to feel the claustrophobia of being stuck in a car for two weeks. No matter how much she loved Matt, talking only to him was beginning to wear. The only break she'd had was when the stopped to help a farmer mow his grass field. She'd spent two days on a riding lawn mower, talking to no one. Lonely, but better than the damn truck.

Now, they were pulling up to another dingy motel, and Bonnie was sick of it. She was sick of Matt's stupid truck, sick of looking for odd jobs, sick of gross motels that hadn't been cleaned in ten years, sick of being sleep deprived, sick of not having a home to go back too. She got out of the truck, slamming the door behind her before grabbing her bag from the truck bed, scraping the side as she tugged it out.

"Easy on the truck, Bon." Matt commented, irritation clear in his voice.

Bonnie rolled her eyes, purposely bumping the truck with her bag as she came around the front to enter the motel.

"That's it." Matt snapped, spinning towards her. "You go get us a room. I'm taking Betsy for a ride while you get your head out of your ass." He ordered, storming past her to climb into the truck.

"Betsy? You named your truck Betsy?" Bonnie asked derisively.

"Yes, but since you don't like her anyway, I don't see what the problem is." Matt growled before slamming the door.

Bonnie watched him drive away before glancing back at the motel. She knew she was being a bitch, but she couldn't seem to care. Something deep inside of her was telling her to rebel, to let people know when she was hitting her limits. Maybe it wasn't Matt's fault, and maybe she'd have to apologize tomorrow, but tonight she was going to let herself be angry. Actually, instead of being angry, she'd have fun she decided after spotting a seedy little bar down the street.

She walked through the doors, heading straight for the bar. Under her breath, she whispered a spell to warn her about anyone with bad intentions. After a second, she whispered the spell again, this time including everyone in the building under its protection.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked when she sat down, not even bothering to ask for ID. Bonnies wasn't surprised. This really didn't look like the type of place that was particularly concerned with underage drinking. Or following the law.

"Cuervo." Bonnie answered. It was her dad's favorite alcohol, the only kind he kept in the house, and thus the only alcohol she'd had much chance to drink except cheap beer. While she was waiting for her drink, she shot Matt a quick text telling him that they were sleeping in different rooms tonight and that he could get his own.

"Now what's a pretty young thing like you doing at a dingy old place like this?" A voice sounded next to her.

"What do you think?" Bonnie asked, taking the drink from the bartender with a smile.

"I think you're looking to forget something." The voice replied. It was deep and confident. Sexy.

Bonnie smirked ever so slightly before turning to look at him, happy to find that the voice matched the man. He was tall, towering over her by almost a foot, and broad, black muscle shirt stretched over firm muscles. His dark skin glistened ever so slightly in the light, but it was his face that captured her attention. Deep chocolate eyes, soft lips, and stubble sparsely scattered across a firm jaw. He was gorgeous.

"Actually, I was looking to relax, but close enough." Bonnie shrugged, taking a sip of her drink.

"Well, I could help you with that too." The guy offered.

Bonnie eyed him for a moment. No warning bells, so he wasn't going to hurt her. Throwing back the rest of her drink, she grabbed his hand and moved towards the open space in the middle of the room.

"Let's dance." She said, turning to face him and slowly moving against him.

His hands instantly slipped too her hips, moving to the beat with her. Technically, they should have been moving faster, but they found a way to work with it. Her arms wound around his neck, fingers interlocking.

"I'm Darren, by the way." He murmured in her ear.

"Bonnie." She whispered back, staring into his eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Bonnie. You know this isn't really a dance floor, right?"

"Are you complaining?" She asked, pushing her hips against him.

"Nope. Just commenting." Darren smirked, gazing into her eyes.

He was intense, and it was clear what he wanted. A part of Bonnie was wondering why she wasn't pushing him away, why she had no plans of pushing him away at any point tonight. Even before her life became a war, she never behaved like this. However, the rest of her was too busy relaxing into the movement to care.

"What about you, why are you here?" She asked.

"I want to be." He told her.

"Do you always do what you want?"

"Usually. As long as no one else is getting hurt, why not live life? Why not do what makes you happy?"

Bonnie smiled at him before deciding to take his advice and pull him down to meet her lips. He groaned, pulling her tighter against him as his tongue swiped her lips. Bonnie's mouth fell open, and she whimpered as her tongue met his. After a few minutes of exploring each other's mouths, Darren pulled away.

"Your place or mine?" He panted.

"Well, my place is the motel down the street, so…" Bonnie trailed off between gasps.

"My place it is." Darren chuckled, leading her out of the bar.

He kissed her up against his car, leaving her breathless again, before opening her door for her and helping her in. The moment he was behind the wheel, he peeled out of the parking lot, hand resting comfortably on her upper thigh. His slowly circling fingers sent little sparks of electricity up her leg, causing her to squirm slightly in anticipation.

Luckily, the ride to his apartment was quick, and he was soon pushing her up against his door to continue kissing her. When they fell through the door, she had a brief moment to appreciate the cleanliness of the apartment before he was pushing her onto his bed. She clawed at his shirt, and he followed suit with her tank top, kissing fiercely. When her bra came off, he pulled his mouth from hers and dropped it to her breasts, giving them the attention they needed.

A few minutes later, their pants were off and he was inside her, pounding furiously. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, before flipping them over. She rode him, bouncing and moving her hips in search of release. A few seconds later, she came, gasping and collapsing on him. Quickly, he flipped them back over, pounding into her a few times before collapsing on her, sated. He slipped out of her and rolled over before pulling the blanket over them.

"Feel free to spend the night." He whispered. When she nodded, he threw an arm around her waist, pulling her side to his chest. Bonnie shifted to get comfortable before falling into an exhausted slumber.

Bonnie woke to Darren shaking her shoulders gently.

"Sorry, but I have to leave for work in fifteen minutes. There's coffee and eggs in the kitchen if you want a quick breakfast." He told her.

"Wow, you make breakfast for all your one night stands?" Bonnie asked, sitting up and running her fingers through her hair.

"Just the pretty ones." Darren winked before giving her a quick peck.

Bonnie smiled, slipping out of bed and pulling on her clothes while Darren walked back to the kitchen. She ducked into the bathroom, taking care of business before pulling her hair into a ponytail and cleaning up her makeup as best she could. Satisfied, she joined Darren in the kitchen.

After rushing through breakfast, and a quick ride back to the motel, Darren kissed her goodbye before driving off. Bonnie watched him leave, smiling slightly, before texting Matt that she was waiting outside.

Twenty minutes later, they were back on the road.

"Hey Matt?" Bonnie said. "Sorry for the way I acted last night. You didn't deserve that."

"We all hit our breaking point sometime. I get it. Life on the road isn't quite as easy as what I imagined."

"No argument here." Bonnie agreed.

"What'd you do to relax?" He asked, glancing at her.

"Uh… meditate. Works wonders." Bonnie said with a quick smile before staring out the window.

"Keep doing it. You look happier than I've seen you in years."

Bonnie grinned at his statement, watching the trees fly past. He was right, she hadn't been happy, but now she was, even if it was just for right now.


End file.
